Friends with benefits - is there a chance?
This blog post has been recycled.
It was first published on 13. December 2013 and has been updated to the new layout now.
There is some best friend to everyone. Someone who comforts us and is there, when no-one else is. And in some cases this friend gives more than a shoulder to cry on. If you are not interested in a relationship but don’t want to do without sex: Fuck your best friend and have a friendship with benefits.
What is a "friendship with benefits"?
Having a sexual relationship with a good friend is called ‚friends with benefits‘. It is more than an One-Night-Stand, but less than an emotional relationship. If you don’t want to have a emotional relationship right now, but don’t want to abandon sex, without having an One-Night-Stand after another: a friendship with benefits could be something right for you.
Who is the right one for you?
It’s necessary that either you or your friend are single and over your ex-partners. You and your friend should be sure you just wanna have fun without any emotional bond – doesn’t mean you never want to find love again, but love can wait, intercourse can’t.
The most common reason why friends with benefits break up is one of them falls in love. There are some hints when Friends with benefits isn’t a good idea for you:
- One of you don’t have many friends. There isn’t anyone except you to annoy.
- You fell in love once. High risk to fall in love again.
- Your friend dotes on you.
It is better to be friends with benefits with someone you like but can’t imagine an emotional relationship. You should feel good when you are next to each other, but you have to ensure that you won’t fall in love.
Avoid friends with benefits at your working environment. In case of broke up you could fall into problems. Here are some playing rules:
How to have a friendship with benefits?
- Ensure that none of you have wrong expectations. You don’t meet up for rendezvous and don’t look for a girlfriend or boyfriend.
- You are commited to being open and honest. Do you fall in love with your friend, xou have to break up your friendship with benefits. Having sex supports falling in love because of hormones.
- Break up if you or your friend fall in love with a third party. Be honest and talk about it, when you having sex with another person or even fall in love with someone.
- Don’t meet too often. It should not become habit. Beware of ‚good morning‘ messages and movie nights.
- Use condoms. It doesn’t matter how long you know each other, don’t forget to prevent to protect from sexually transmitted infections or unintended pregnancy.
- Don’t feel domestic. Don’t bring your toothbrush and spare clothes to your friend.
- Don’t talk about your friendship to others. Like in FightClub you don’t talk about your intimacy with your friends, because you may have mutual friends.
- Talk with your friend about how to handle your friendship in public. How to handle when you’re at the same party? You should talk about things like this.
- Break up if you are not interested anymore. Your friendship is based on sex. If you are not interested in having sex with your friend anymore or you want to find a new love someday: Break up to make this easier.
- Remind you may lose a good friend if something goes wrong. It may be complicated to stay friends without having sex after having sex once or falling in love.